Not all fear is bad. In fact, a little fear serves as an insurance policy. "Without fear, we'd jump headlong into things we shouldn't," says Tamar E. Chansky, PhD, author of Freeing Your Child from Anxiety.
Ages and stages.
Babies and toddlers have little to worry about. For children to worry, they have to imagine the future and bad things that can happen in it. Some of them might fear sudden loud noises, heights, strangers & separation.
Fears of an Infant or Toddler
· Loud noises or sudden movements
· Large looming objects
· Changes in the house
Fears During Preschool Years
· The dark
· Noises at night
· Monsters and ghosts
· Animals such as dogs, insects
Fears During School Years
· Snakes and spiders
· Storms and natural disasters
· Being home alone
· Fear of a teacher who's angry
· Scary news or TV shows
· Injury, illness, doctors, shots, or death
· Fear of failure and rejection
School children could fear failure, criticism, exams and physical harm. Children over age eight are more likely to have worries. Worries are when a child thinks about past or future situations. Fear usually occurs in the present.
Cause of anxiety and fear.
1. Biological: Some people are more likely to be anxious. It runs in the family .
2. Parenting styles or modelling: children look at you to see how they should react.
3. Life events. Situations that caused trauma. Even a film or story .
Children hear everything you say and mimic everything you do, so give them a good example.
Ways to support your child
1. Acknowledge your child’s fears.
2. Gently encourage your child to do things they feel anxious about, but don’t push. (Use the stepladder approach.)
3. Praise and give rewards for little victories, don’t criticise their fear or anxiety.
One simple thing you can do to maintain calm is to establish a predictable routine. Also, minimize the numbers of caretakers in your child's life. Strong bonding with your child -- through regular touch, eye contact, and talking or singing -- creates a foundation of trust, helping to inoculate your child against future anxiety, too.
Approach the fear in steps. Resist the temptation either to overprotect. Instead, give your child opportunities for direct, safe experiences. Talk to a dog's owner and ask, "Is the dog friendly? Can we say 'hi'?" "Or, ask your child, 'Is the dog's tail wagging? That's the sign of a happy dog.'" If you have a friend with a dog, let the "sleeping dog lie" -- and let your child observe. That allows a safe entrance to the world of dogs.
1. During 2nd halve of the night
2. Ages 5 – 6 when they become aware of real life
3. Remember it is a normal way of dealing with life’s stresses and does not point out bad parents.
How to deal with nightmares
1. Reassure, talk , rub, rock
2. Teach coping skills, positive thoughts, relaxing skills (imagine lying on a beach) By developing her own stories that incorporated deep-breathing, affirmations, and muscular relaxation, she was able to greatly help her own children.
3. Keep monster spray at hand, play Imagine magic.
4. Avoid scary TV shows or storybooks before bedtime
How to deal with fear of dark
1. Play fun in the dark: hand figures, treasure hunt.
2. Discuss all fears during the day and practice skills, helping with self confidence.
3. Give a security object like a soft towl, blanket
4. Leave night light on, keep doors open.
How to deal with children sneaking to parent’s bed.
1. Try to convince him to stay in his bed
2. Stay with him for a while.
3. Check on him regularly predictably, for trust
4. Set up a star system and give a reward
5. Deal with the issue during daytime by giving reassurance.
When to be concerned about anxiety in children
When it is interfering with his social life or school work or friendships, it is time to discuss the matter with your health care practitioner. Remember that psychosomatic symptoms develop normally during first school years and that these odd stomach pains or headaches are not necessarily signs of concern.
Rescue Remedy (2)
This homeopathic stress relief preparation has been used safely and effectively for generations and it comes in a number of convenient forms to suit your particular application: oral drops, a spray, a topical cream, as a lozenge, and in chewing gum form.
Rescue Remedy is a blend of 5 of the original 38 Bach Flower Remedies, developed by Dr. Edward Bach a medical physician, turned homeopath and researcher in the 1920's and 1930s.
Dr. Bach was an advanced physician for his time and we owe him a great deal for his research on mental and emotional causes of dis-ease. If you would like to learn more about his life and his research, please visit the Bach Centre.
Rescue Remedy is comprised of the following 5 individual flower remedies:
- Rock Rose: which is used for terror and panic
- Impatiens: which helps with irritation and impatience
- Clematis: which aids in inattentiveness and lack of focus
- Star of Bethlehem: which is for shock
- Cherry Plum: which assists with irrational thoughts and a lack of self-control.
According to BMC Complementary and Alternative Medicine, like other homeopathic preparations, Rescue Remedy is considered safe for pregnant woman, infants, children and people with medical conditions.
How does Rescue Remedy actually work?
The science of homeopathy is actually based on vibrational and energy medicine.
There is no actual active ingredient in a homeopathic remedy, as the original ingredients have been diluted so many times that all that is left is an energetic and vibrational imprint. This is what makes it so safe, as well as so powerful.
1.Tamar E. Chansky, PhD, author of Freeing Your Child from Anxiety.